Dear Lady at the Foggy Bottom Metro Stop,

Guess what?! I saw that! That's right! I saw you scratch your crotch! And you know what else? I'm probably not the only one, seeing as there were about 100 of us standing within 50 yards of you. I know you're thinking that your 5 year-old son blocked you from view, but, alas, this is not the case. You see, when many people are brought together (read: stuck on the platform) waiting for something (read: the train) our eyes tend to wander. Was I lucky enough to have eyes that drifted to the cute guy waiting for the Virginia-bound train? Nope! Not me. I had the distinct pleasure of seeing you digging around "down there." Lucky me! I win the prize of the day!

Now if only I could find a way to bottle my success and sell it to the simple tourists from Idaho...

Sincerely,
Lindsey