Warning. I'm pissed.
So here's the deal. I'm not going to the movies when "normal" people are able to go. I use the term "normal" in the loosest sense of the word. I mean, is it normal to take a fucking 4 year to a movie like David Cronenberg's A History of Violence? A movie where in the first half hour you see 4 dead bodies? (And I mean see them.) Is it normal during a movie that you don't understand to talk loudly on your cell and giggle at moments that are heartwrenching and horrible? Is murder funny? Did I miss something? What the fuck is wrong with people? I don't get it, therefore it's funny? (And this can explain many, many, many things that are wrong with the human race at large. But enough about that, I'm talking about something much pettier.)
Therefore, gentle readers, I will not, under very few circumstances, go to see a movie during "movie times." Meaning, no more Friday nights. No more Saturday nights. And for all that is holy and true, no more Sunday matinees. Unless it is something immensley obscure, I shall stick to this. Or unless it's something that has been out for many, many weeks and should theoretically be nearly empty. So I guess screw "normal." Just when actual "people" are invovled. Kids movies, I'll make an exception, just because I don't mind when kids laugh and giggle about movies....except that one time at Howl's Moving Castle. That wasn't fun (but it probably falls into the "I don't get it" category.)
Do I sound elitist? Yes. Do I care? No, and I'll tell you why. 9 times out of 10 since I moved into a large city I have felt like this after a movie. Not that I'm saying that people in Toledo, OH don't do this, but, in general, they're slightly more polite about it. Sometimes. I've definitely felt like this after big movies I've seen in Ohio. Maybe that's what it is. It's the big movies. But, A History of Violence?? Not big!! Unless you know who Cronenberg is!! I'll bet that 80% of the people in that theatre had no idea what a "Cronenberg" film even is!!!! You know who definitely doesn't know? The fucking FOUR-YEAR OLD! I'm not kidding, my friends. A four-year old. In a movie that has "graphic sex, nudity, and extreme violence." I even went up to a manager after the film and asked "Is it policy to let a four-year old into a film like A History of Violence?" (Of course, I know the answer to this having worked in a movie theatre for 5.5 years.) She answered me very professionally with probably the smartest thing that I've heard in months: "You don't have to have a license to be a parent." How perceptive and sad.
Now, do I have an illusions that what I've written will mean anything to anyone? Of course not. I just needed to vent.
As for A History of Violence, it was a very good film, all things considered.
Therefore, gentle readers, I will not, under very few circumstances, go to see a movie during "movie times." Meaning, no more Friday nights. No more Saturday nights. And for all that is holy and true, no more Sunday matinees. Unless it is something immensley obscure, I shall stick to this. Or unless it's something that has been out for many, many weeks and should theoretically be nearly empty. So I guess screw "normal." Just when actual "people" are invovled. Kids movies, I'll make an exception, just because I don't mind when kids laugh and giggle about movies....except that one time at Howl's Moving Castle. That wasn't fun (but it probably falls into the "I don't get it" category.)
Do I sound elitist? Yes. Do I care? No, and I'll tell you why. 9 times out of 10 since I moved into a large city I have felt like this after a movie. Not that I'm saying that people in Toledo, OH don't do this, but, in general, they're slightly more polite about it. Sometimes. I've definitely felt like this after big movies I've seen in Ohio. Maybe that's what it is. It's the big movies. But, A History of Violence?? Not big!! Unless you know who Cronenberg is!! I'll bet that 80% of the people in that theatre had no idea what a "Cronenberg" film even is!!!! You know who definitely doesn't know? The fucking FOUR-YEAR OLD! I'm not kidding, my friends. A four-year old. In a movie that has "graphic sex, nudity, and extreme violence." I even went up to a manager after the film and asked "Is it policy to let a four-year old into a film like A History of Violence?" (Of course, I know the answer to this having worked in a movie theatre for 5.5 years.) She answered me very professionally with probably the smartest thing that I've heard in months: "You don't have to have a license to be a parent." How perceptive and sad.
Now, do I have an illusions that what I've written will mean anything to anyone? Of course not. I just needed to vent.
As for A History of Violence, it was a very good film, all things considered.
posted by ruehllin at 7:23 PM
2 Comments:
Oh, the fun people of NW Ohio do it, too. I remember going to a 10 pm showing of 'The Cell.' Remember those two key points: 10 pm (meaning that the movie won't finish until after midnight), and 'The Cell' (meaning, definitely rated R).
Yet who sits behind us in a crowded theater? A family of four (or was it five?), including children who were (maybe) in their first years of grade school.
Bastardos.
"Normal people" suck. Only go to the movies when the abnormal people go! See you there.
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