Roaches, flying bottles and a swimming pool in every living room

1. I have roaches in my apartment. Mostly, they come in to die now since I've sprayed so much Raid on the floor.

2. Driving home last night, at midnight, 5 12 year-old boys were standing at an intersection. All of the sudden, a broken bottle flew through the air and hit my car. Right next to my fully open driver's side window. As I pulled away, two more bottles hit the back of the car.

3. I wake up this morning, go into the kitchen to prepare breakfast (Honey Nut Cheerios and OJ) and prepare to sit on the couch to watch t.v. and veg out before the matinee. I hear a noise. I think it's the fan. I hear it again, and quite constant. I look over at my other couch (the one that doesn't belong to me, but belongs to the theatre) and see that it's soaking wet. Completely soaking wet. I figure out that the noise I'm hearing is dripping water. I look up. I see that the ceiling looks like it's about to fall in. The couch is probably ruined. The carpet is definitely ruined. I only have to live there for 6 more days.