Friday, January 04, 2008

I Heart Dave!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Addendum to yesterday's post

Lindsey's Conversation with The Eye Doctor (TED): A Play in 2 Acts.

ACT I
Lindsey dials phone. Ring....ring....ring...

Female TED: Thank you for calling Local Eyeglass Chain.

Lindsey: Hi, I was just wondering if my glasses were ready.

Female TED: Name?

Lindsey: Lindsey Last Name

Female TED: Hold.

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing. 4 minutes pass. Lindsey hangs up the phone thinking no one is going to come back to her. In fact, she forgot she was on hold in the first place.

Lindsey dials phone again. Busy signal. 2 minutes pass. Lindsey dials yet again, busy signal. 2 minutes pass. Again. Ring....ring...ring...

Male TED: Thank you for calling Local Eyeglass Chain.

Lindsey: Yes, I was just calling to see if my glasses were ready?

Male TED: Name?

Lindsey: Lindsey Last Name

Male TED: Hold

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing. 1 minute passes.

Female TED: Hello?

Lindsey: Yes, I was just speaking with a gentlemen to see if my glasses were ready?

Female TED: Yes. What's your name again?

Lindsey: Lindsey Last Name

Female TED: Hold on.

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing. 30 seconds pass.

Female TED: What's your last name again?

Lindsey: Last Name

Female TED: Hold

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing. 30 seconds pass.

Female TED: Okay, Ms. Last Name. What is your phone number? The lab tech needed to talk to you about your glasses.

Lindsey: But my phone number is in the file and I dropped my frames off almost 2 weeks ago. They were supposed to be ready 4 days ago. I don't understand.

Female TED: Well the lab tech isn't here and he needs to talk to you.

Lindsey: About what?

Female TED: I don't know.

Lindsey: My number is in the file. You've called me before.

Female TED: Well that's his fault. I'll make sure that he calls you tomorrow morning, first thing.

Lindsey: Okay. Well, thanks.

Click

ACT II
The Next Day.

At 3pm, Lindsey dials the Local Eyeglass Chain. Ring...ring...ring...

Female TED: Local Eyeglass Chain.

Lindsey: Yes, someone was supposed to call me this morning about my glasses?

Female TED: Yes. Hold please.

Lindsey is confused because she didn't give her name to the Lab Tech. 30 seconds pass.

Female TED: Yes. Do you have your glasses there with you?

Lindsey (taken aback): No. I dropped them off there 2 weeks ago.

Female TED: Hold.

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing.

Female TED: Why did you drop these off?

Lindsey: The right eye prescription was incorrect.

Female TED (to someone off stage): The right eye was wrong. (To Lindsey) And how many pairs did you drop off?

Lindsey: Just the one.

Female TED (to someone off stage): Just one pair. (To Lindsey) And it's just the right eye?

Lindsey: Yes.

Female TED (to someone off stage): It's just the right eye. (To Lindsey) Just one pair and just the right eye needs to be changed.

Lindsey: Yes. Will these be ready today? They were supposed to be done 5 days ago!

Female TED: Hold

Click. Silence. No music. Nothing. 1 minute passes.

New Female TED: Hi, Ms. Last Name. I will work on these and have them to you tomorrow.

Lindsey: I don't understand. I was told that someone needed to talk to me --

New Female TED (interrupting): You needed to talk to me and I didn't know where your glasses were or why they were here. But I --

Lindsey (interrupting): But isn't that in my file?

New Female TED: I have all the information now. The lab tech is really backed up. I will have these for you by 1pm tomorrow. Is that okay?

Lindsey: I guess it's going to have to be.

New Female TED: Great.

Click.

The End.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Why is this so fucking hard?

If there is an issue with a service that you are supposed to provide for your consumers, call the fucking customer! Especially if it's something that has already been paid for! For fucks sake!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Lindsey's One-Sentence Reviews: The Dewey Cox Story

So, 2007 is officially a distant memory and what better way to commemorate its demise than by posting some One-Sentence movie reviews? I know you're thrilled so let's get to it, shall we?

3:10 to Yuma: Bale and Crowe = hot brilliance! But see it for Ben Foster.

Across the Universe: SEE Bono's performance as The Walrus, AVOID Eddie Izzard's performance as Mr. Kite. (I know, I was pissed too!)

The Darjeeling Limited: One of the best films of the year that no one saw: SEE IT NOW!

Music Within: Insulting, ignorant, unbearable. C'mon, Ron Livingston and Michael Sheen! Back to Burger and The PM for you!

Margot at the Wedding: RENT The Squid and the Whale. If you see this, be ready to call your sister afterwards to apologize!

Juno: A movie with heart, with a capital H. Adorable.

I Am Legend: Most definitely! SEE IT NOW!

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story: John C. Reilly really can do no wrong!



And since 2007 is over, here's a recap of the best and worst this year had to offer (in no particular order):

The Best
Sunshine
The Lives of Others
Waitress
Hot Fuzz
Sicko
The Darjeeling Limited
I Am Legend
No Country for Old Men
Juno

The Worst
The Ten
Music Within
Curse of the Golden Flower
Blades of Glory


So, that's what we have for now. We'll see you in a few months!